it is sometimes enlightening to see the continuum of pain and joy. once a yoga practitioner, is adept with the asanas, the pain of the stretch is experienced as joy to her. the pain of the blood rushing in, and being breathless, but still being able to maintain the slow and deep rhythm of breath is extremely difficult. but appears joyous; but ofcourse painful. after completing that long marathon, the piercing pain of the accumulated lactic acid and muscles own means of doing anaerobic respiration is painful, but is joyous. the joy is more intrinsic rather than anything else. it is about being connected to that deep seated nerve say on the left of the shin bone, deep inside the muscles lining it. or for that matter, being able to feel one’s heart touching one’s inner viscera of the chest. that soft pain, makes us aware of our brethren i side us, standing firm to protect and strengthen us, so that we can pass on that gratitude to others in the world and beyond with our service, exploration, experimentation and toil.
the most pleasurable act for human – the act of sex, itself is an extremely painful and arduous regime. the continuum of pain and joy is so vivid and intricate in this situation! the lovers experiencing orgasm is in a rollercoaster of a mind shattering pain, and an enlivening and expanding joy. one loses the sense of that little ego caged in bone and flesh, and expands out to an incomprehensible, ever expansive, limitless openness, where there is no form, there is no name. only what remains is just that dance, that motion, that symphony, the music of the moans..
same is the case with a student of a complex domain of study. it is arduously and humiliatingly painful to go through those initial days struggling with the fundamentals of that domain. but then, if the student perseveres, and goes through the initial corny pain, the continuity of joy and pain slowly emerges soon, one she starts applying the first principles and graduates into higher order thinking, and creating inferences and solving ever more complex problems. i. this entire journey as was with sex, she just rides the wave effortlessly, and jumps from one crescendo to the other.
interesting is the absence of the boundaries between paina dm joy. and ever more interesting is the discovery that none of these appears in their pure unadulterated form. wherever they exist, they exist as a continuum of one into the other, like a water into sandalwood powder, or honey in curd, or water in milk. one strengthens and completes the other.
practicing yoga has been like a way of life for me. the day without yoga appears little incomplete. it feels like something essential was missed. something like one is deprived of that glimpse of the beauty of one’s beloved’s silky smooth calling in the early morning. like that bounce of lightness of heart, its movement from one to the other level was missed out. a day without yoga is like a day depriving a constellation of beings of their justified fundamental right to soak into the mushiness of love of each other with whom they are profoundly in love.
who are these beings? what is this love? what is that justified fundamental right? what it means to soak into the mushiness of that love?
yoga flows in following four stages. They are – 1. the first stage getting one’s movements right. 2. the second stage is getting one’s breath aligned to those right movements. 3. the third is about aligning one’s drishti (sight) with the movements. 4. the fourth stage is about allowing the breath and drishti to be the leader, and movements just follow them!
That is the journey of yoga. it is a journey of movement from gross to subtle. it is about disciplining and aligning one’s body with the soul, and then letting the soul take control. The important fundamental 1st principle on which this entire flow of yoga is based on is two folds – love and movement. it is all about movement. from one position to the other – spatial or mental. from gross to subtle. And also the entire movement is about allowing a constellation of beings to make love with each other. and it is about letting the soul being in observance (sakshi) of that play of love.
now, what are those beings? one way to observe that dance of love is to practice yoga, slowly, aligned with the breath, timing, and the required delays between each breath and movements, to build up that symphony; that music, that rhythm, that dance. And if this dance is done naked, alone, in a silent warm private place, it helps. being naked, one is able to use one’s body as a medium to align the drishti, and skin as a means to observe that exact points of contacts between the mother earth (yoga mat), and contacts between the outer parts of the body, and also the inner organs of the body. body becomes a medium to let one’s psychic energy seep into in meditation, and groove into what it feels, how it looks. Slowly the consciousness slips away from one’s ego to myriads of beings and myriads of those highly charged contact points, leading to orgasm, if done well. like while doing suryanamaskara, following points of contacts are prime to groove into –
pada hasta asana – kissing one’s sheen. letting one’s nipples touch the knees.letting one’s forehead do a pranaam to the sheen. the entire process is very respectful, like a worship, deeply soaked in carnal love, bonding and belonging. also it is about the sight of seeing the world upside down between one’s limbs, being embraced in love in protection by them. its like a little infant glimpsing the world of motion from the lap of her mother.
ashwa sanchalana asana – feeling that stretch in one’s groins, thyroid, and shoulders. letting the eyeballs touch the brows! it is also about seeing the ceiling, the sky, the stars, the sun, the moon, and establishing one connect with the universe above us.
adho mukha swan asana -feeling the hand muscles stretch, the expanse of the fingers being supported by the mother earth’s bosom. feeling that stretch in the leg muscles with the heels touching the mother earth.
the entire movement of the flow from bhujanga asana, to ashtanga namaskar, to chatur dandasana, to chatur dandasana namaskar, till back to again on ashwa sanchalana asana – is a deep love making with one’s groins, phallus, or clitoris, breasts, stomach, neck. the entire body experiences that deep intimate connection with mother earth, and then with sky to follow. The the love making continues.
This entire act of love, deeply grooved into the dance of the breath, drishti, movement teaches one lots and lots of things, and every day, every new stage, every new progression in this upward spiral teaches the abhyasi (practitioner) something new, something subtle, something much more beyond one’s ego, to those numerous constellations of beings, and being a sakshi of their love making.
Truly the act of yoga is not about completing some numbers of exercise turns, and fulfilling one’s ego that i have done those number of turns. but it is about a pure indulgence of seeping into the world of love. just love. And also it is about movement. it is about that continuous change, that continuous swing, that continuous progression from one point to other, that is more difficult, more demanding, where the soul, the body, the skin, the muscles, the bones, the mind, the breath, has to learn to do something more difficult, something beyond their current capacity. That upward movement, determines being alive! And this movement through love, starts with touch, touching one’s own body, touching mother earth, feeling that deeply, seeing one’s own body, seeing the universe around from different asanas, appreciating the texture, the warmth, that acceptance of the body through that tactile touch, and also appreciating the perfect symmetry, the hidden asymmetries in the body, and geometric miracle of what the body is, the world is! certainly taking bath before yoga, shaving one’s whole body if it is hairy, doing the yoga completely naked or with least clothes on, using a yoga mat that is very thin and allows one to feel mother earth more fully, using natural materials for the yoga mat, doing the yoga alone, etc helps and are essential hygiene factors, doing it as close to nature as possible, etc.
as always, love is whole and complete in the action of loving. it is the verb end to end that fulfills itself. there is no other hidden agenda to have anything or anybody outside that sanctuary of being engaged in love, and cherishing it’s grace every moment playing it. so is yoga! there is nothing to have or accomplish outside the mere act, and engaging with the act. yoga is whole and complete by itself. it’s like making love with one’s beloved is whole and complete in itself. or the act of worship is whole and complete in itself. there is no hidden agenda to accomplish, or a destination to achieve and rest. it’s a constant toil moving the upward spiral.
when i feel low, and life is hard, i have found a new sanctuary beyond books, writing, meditation, sleeping, and work. i.e is hatha yoga. the most beautiful thing about yoga that i like is its sheer minimalism. i am not dependent any anyone, anything, anybody outside me. just my sheer muscle memory built out of regular practice is good enough. and when i do these difficult asanas, i feel so at peace and still. the process is enjoyable because it shows me i am able to do something i was unable to earlier. that gives me a feeling of accomplishment. and there is nothing anyone can take away from me. it is all within me. and most important thing is that special feeling after having done the asanas, as if resting in one’s own sactuary of solace which cannot be touched by the vagaries of life. that sheer joy of that space is un-expressible. certainly yoga for me is a sanctuary of solace.
i have been a practitioner of yoga since several years. but it is only since last 6 months, it has started becoming effective. this has been possible solely due to the classes of 6am yoga studio that is given by my current yoga guru, Shiva Sir.
his classes are absolutely fantastic. his instructions and guidance to synchronize the breath with such difficult asanas is the most critical part. he says breath is the most important. then comes the action. still i am not perfect, and have miles to go to go. he says it takes years and decades to attain perfection in yoga. what is just required is sincerity and regular practice. i like the incremental improvement in doing my yoga daily. it feels that i am becoming one inch better person every day.
another beautiful ritual that Shiva Sir does is that he changes the entire battery of asanas every month. that helps to try newer feats, attain newer heights, reach unexplored corners of the body. i feel being in love with my body. i can touch myself in so many different ways, and so many different orientations and postures, that i would not have every done in any other way. this touch is not necessarily with my hand. it is through out the body and internal organs. it makes me feel like reaching out to my loved ones who were all abandoned by me, blinded by my narrow egoistical utilitarian daily pursuits. for me, my body appears like a community, and so many different muscles, bones, arteries, veins, internal body parts – all are like beings who love me, and are dedicated towards consistently work without any expectations, to keep me alive. and yoga is a way in which i reach out to them daily, acknowledge them,bow before tham, touch them, hug them, kiss them and express my heartfelt gratitude.
I feel really very grateful to Shiva Sir, and God for enabling me to do be in this journey of yoga.
this sanctuary of solace is interestingly not a static mansion created of brick and mortar. rather, the sanctuary is woven by continuous investment of time, energy, hard work, creativity, attention, focus, knowledge, guidance, mentorship, and rest of it, as required to sustain the process. it is like a continuous activity that keeps creating the beautiful sanctuary dynamically. it is like playing the piano. the beautiful notes only show up in reality when an expert pianist invests all of her efforts engaging into the activity persistently.
due to this mere dynamism and activity oriented aspect of this sanctuary, this isn’t an object. and hence it cannot be taken away, it cannot be burnt, it cannot be cut apart, it cannot be made wet, it cannot be broken, it never perishes, it is eternal and immortal.
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